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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25046683">The Idea of Growing Old</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/literati42/pseuds/literati42'>literati42</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Prodigal Son (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff, Boys In Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, PSTPrideBingo, Romance, Suicidal Thoughts, mental health</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:20:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,663</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25046683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/literati42/pseuds/literati42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Prodigal Son Trash Pride Bingo Prompt: Growing Old Together</p><p>Malcolm's birthday makes him think about the future, JT just wants him to be around to see it</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Malcolm Bright/JT Tarmel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Prodigal Son Pride Bingo</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Idea of Growing Old</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A new Pride story for you all! I hope you like it</p><p>As always, come join me on twitter @themythofpsyche and on tumblr @literati42. Please join Pride Bingo! There's still plenty of time.</p><p>TW/CW: this story contains discussion of past suicidal thoughts</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>You turn me on to the idea of growing old.</em>
</p><p><em>-</em>The Idea of Growing Old by The Features<br/>
</p><p>JT managed to get out to the balcony with cake in one hand and two beers nestled in his other arm. He raised an eyebrow as he glanced around the space. When Jessica Whitly chose a venue, as with everything else, she went all out. The inside was a ballroom, lavishly decorated, with a live band playing in the corner. The balcony was no less impressive, with marble railing and greenery wrapped around every free space delicate white lights strung through them. JT narrowed his eyes as he scanned the area, only locking onto his target when his attention made it to the part of the balcony furthest away from the party inside.</p><p>He made his way over. Malcolm Bright, in one of his million-dollar suits, sat on the marble railing, with his feet dangling over the side. JT sat the cake down beside him. “You know, at some point, Jessica will notice that a key element of the birthday party is missing.”</p><p>“What? Media attention?” Bright asked, glancing over at him. JT nudged the cake his way, and he picked it up.</p><p>“I meant the person whose birthday it is, but yeah, that too,” JT replied. He raised an eyebrow as Bright pushed the cake around the plate with his fork. “You going to let me in on what’s bothering you?”</p><p>Bright let out a breath, setting the cake aside. He turned around on the railing so that his back was to the open air. JT was not sure this was making him feel any better about the likelihood of Bright falling off. “You found beer?” the profiler asked, raising his own eyebrow, “At my mother’s party?”</p><p>JT smirked, “She stocked it especially for me.”</p><p>“Well…” Bright said, processing that information.</p><p>“Oh yes, she wanted to make sure my simple tastes were being accommodated,” JT said dryly. Bright groaned, closing his eyes.</p><p>“At least she’s trying to make you feel welcome before she insults you, that’s progress,” Bright said, shaking his head.</p><p>“I’ll take that win,” JT said, raising one of the beers.</p><p>“I think it means she likes you,” Bright said. JT nodded. He knew this. Jessica could be difficult and often judgmental, but he could see through her. He knew she wanted Bright’s happiness more than she wanted him to marry wealthy. Of course, that did not mean she would make it easy on JT, or that she would not give her share of snide comments.</p><p>“Judgmental remarks are her love language,” JT said.</p><p>Bright laughed, reaching for the second bottle and frowning. “You know I don’t even like beer.”</p><p>“Who said they weren’t both for me?”</p><p>Bright snatched on away, “I didn’t say I wouldn’t drink it.” JT took it back from him, opening the cap before returning it.</p><p>“Fine,” he said, then let the smile slid off his face. “So, you haven’t told me why you’re hiding from your birthday party.”</p><p>“It’s Jessica’s party that happens to fall on my birthday,” Bright replied.</p><p>“I’m not sure she will see the difference.” JT watched Bright’s face in profile, watched the tension in his jaw. He reached over and squeezed Bright’s knee. “What’s going on?”</p><p>“I’m a year older.”</p><p>JT waited for him to continue, but the profiler stayed silent. “A little early for a midlife crisis, isn’t it?” He saw the slight shake in Bright’s hand, and gave his leg a little squeeze. “What is it, Bright?”</p><p>“There was this teacher I had when I was fifteen,” Bright said. JT thought how typical this was. Bright was always answering a simple question with a story. He wanted to be mad, wanted to push for an answer, but it was Bright’s birthday and they were at a party with his family. JT did not want to fight with him. So JT leaned against the rail so that his side was pressed against Malcolm. “She gave us an assignment to write about where we thought we’d be in five years. I was fifteen, and maybe was being a bit dramatic…”</p><p>“You?” JT said.</p><p>“But,” Bright went on, giving him a look. “I handed in the paper blank because I told her I expected to be nothing in five years.”</p><p>“I’m sure your teacher loved that.”<br/>
            “Oh yes, but she wasn’t mad. I think I wanted her to get mad, but she wasn’t. She saw through me, which I don’t think I wanted her to do. I ended up with extra therapy sessions for it.” Bright rung his hands together, “Because I didn’t think I’d be alive five years later.” JT felt the humor rush out of him. He turned to face Bright, a hand on the railing at either side of him. Bright met his eyes. “I thought I’d be dead.”</p><p>“Bright…” JT breathed.</p><p>“I never thought I’d live to be 21. I certainly didn’t think I’d be alive to see 30, and now…I’m still here.”</p><p>“Bright,”  JT said again. The profiler lifted his hands to JT’s shoulders.</p><p>“That’s the thing, JT. When I was younger, and I tried to picture the future, I couldn’t imagine myself in it. I wasn’t…it wasn’t bad all the time, but when it was bad, it was bad. I thought there would come a day I’d…” He let the words hang, and JT picked them up, knowing what they meant. “Then I started working for the FBI, and I didn’t think I’d see 30. I thought, ‘I’m going to die in the field,’ and I was fine with it. It seemed fitting.” Bright slid down off the railing without taking his hands from JT’s shoulder. He was closer now, in JT’s airspace. “Then, I met you.” He shook his head, a little smile breaking the dark look from his features. “And then we kissed, and you took me into your arms.” Bright gave a little laugh, and to JT’s ears, it sounded surprised. That was his Bright, a year into their relationship, and was still surprised to find himself in one. “And that first time you held me, I thought, <em>I could do this forever.</em>” He shook his head, his eyes full of wonder. “I never thought like that. I never thought of forever.” Bright met JT’s eyes, and the detective thought he saw some worry there, like he was not sure how JT would take his words. “And then I was getting ready for the party tonight, and I thought about how you were going to be here tonight. I thought, I hope he keeps coming to these with me until we’re old.” JT swallowed back a lump of emotion as he listened to Malcolm. “You make me want that.”</p><p>The words sent a rush of conflicting emotions through JT. He felt warm and weak and scared at once. “That’s a lot to put on someone, Bright.” He shook his head, “And it doesn’t give you enough credit for how hard you’ve fought to get here.”</p><p>Bright shook his head, “No, I don’t mean that. I don’t mean anything so Byronic as you’re the only reason I’m alive. And I know, okay. I know I’ve worked hard to survive. After that day, when I was fifteen, when I finally told someone how I was feeling, I’ve spent every day since then fighting to stay alive. I know I did that, and I’ve had help. Therapy, and Gil, and you and Dani and Edrisa. I know. That’s not what I mean.” He shook his head, “Before I met you, I was working hard to survive, hard to fight my demons. I was, but now…I’m not just fighting so I might get older. I <em>want</em> to grow old.” He shook his head, “You make me want to grow old.” Bright laughed, a wet, emotion-filled sound. “Because I want to grow old with you.”</p><p>JT brought this hand up to Bright’s face. “You can’t say things like that and expect me not to kiss you.”</p><p>“Who says that wasn’t my plan?” Bright asked. JT shut him up with a kiss, pushing him back against the railing. He felt Bright melt against him, his arms wrap around JT’s neck. JT kissed him, and thought about how he wanted to keep kissing him. Kissing him and kissing him until they were old, and keep kissing him even then.</p><p>He deepened the kiss, and Bright melted a little more. JT pulled back, feeling the beating of his heart, the speed of his breath. He leaned down, kissing Bright’s throat. The profiler laughed, the sound light and touch drunk. JT stopped kissing him to look in his eyes. “I love you,” JT said. He watched the surprise cross Bright’s face. Bright, who was in his arms and drunk off his kisses, was shocked at his words.</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>“You just told me you want to spend the rest of your life with me,” JT said, “And you’re surprised I love you?” He shook his head, moving his hand to tilt Bright’s face up. “I love you, I love you, and I want to grow old with you. I want you to be around to grow old because I can’t imagine the world without you.” The words came so easily that JT wondered why it had taken him so long to say them. “I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too,” Bright said.</p><p>“I hope so,” JT said, pulling Bright close again, “It would be awkward to grow old together if you didn’t love me too.”</p><p>Bright leaned his head on JT’s shoulder and laughed. JT wanted to hear that laugh every day as they grew old together. He wanted to be the one to cause that laugh. “Happy birthday.” JT said, kissing him again, “And many, many more.” JT thought, tonight he would kiss Bright until the night grew old.</p><p>Tomorrow they would get to the business of growing old together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Malcolm Bright in my story and in the show demonstrates suicidal behaviors (and in this story has past attempts). If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, go to the National Suicide Lifeline website:<br/>https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/<br/>They have a 24/7 help line to call, a number to text, and information on suicide. You can also learn more at the National Institute of Mental Health's pages on Depression<br/>https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/depression/index.shtml</p><p>If you or anyone you know shows signs of self harm, please contact the self-harm help line:<br/>https://www.crisistextline.org/selfharm</p><p>If you want to learn more about self-harm and what to do, please check out NAMI's site:<br/>https://www.nami.org/learn-more/mental-health-conditions/related-conditions/self-harm</p></blockquote></div></div>
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